Addie's Developmental Assessment

Just realized I've yet to post pics of Addie's Appointment. We headed to the hospital that seems to be our 2nd home. The boys were there for up to 3 months, Addie for 2 and I was on bedrest there for 6 weeks. We visited the NICU, my high risk docs and my antepartum floor. It was really nice to see everyone again. When these people are your only companions for weeks on end you actually do miss them when you are discharged. It was like visiting old friends.

Kelly, on the right, was my kick-butt nurse. You needed something done, Kelly was your girl. Some nurses were so timid about paging doctors it DROVE ME NUTS. High-risk docs tend to say things like "Um, I don't like what I am seeing. Let me talk to the team, we may want to deliver you today." They sometimes say this in the morning after all of your tests and then send you back to your room. What they fail to mention is that they may mean that TOMORROW they may deliver you or in 2 weeks, either way you won't hear anything for HOURS. This is when you want a nurse on your side who has kids and realizes that you may have some arranging to do IF you are in fact delivering in an hour.

In reality the morning I delivered the decision was made about 30 minutes before I was in the OR. Jared was left scrambling to find a sitter and I had not seen him when they were wheeling me into the OR to be delivered. Once again a nurse stepped in and said "we just called her husband and he is in the elevator" to which an intern replied, "we can't wait the OR is ready" TO WHICH the awesome nurse said "We are waiting. She needs to see her husband."

I LOVE NURSES!! It was so much better to go in with Jared by my side. That nurse got it and I am thankful she did.

This is the Dr. that delivered Addie. He is a great Dr. and is very quirky. I heard him tell someone that a lot of people have compared him to the Dr. on "House". I have never seen the show but if the guy is quirky, I agree.

Sweet, nurse Amelia. She was the boy's NICU nurse and Addie's. We love our NICU too. She was the one to show Jared how to bathe our little 2 lb babies.

Addie did well on the assessment as I think I mentioned in a previous post. She needs to start sitting up but other than that she was on track. Oddly enough she likes to stand up holding onto the couch but does not sit or scoot or crawl. Crazy kid.

Car Seat Test

So peaceful. She has NO idea what she is in for.

Addison passed her car seat test with flying colors. Mommy got extremely nervous when they put her in this GIGANTIC seat. Despite her still only weighing 4 lbs 8 oz they are able to roll blankets (like we did w/ the boys) and make it work. No car bed for us! She had to sit in the car seat with no desats for 30 minutes before she can go home. Did I say "go home"???? :) Hate to leave you with a cliffhanger but that is our lives right now. The bottom line is it could be soon. As our Neonatologist says "Never trust a preemie". She could "change her mind" about coming home at any time.

"I don't know what Mom is worried about this test is SO easy I am bored."

What's different?

NO TUBES!!!

Our prayer is that she stays this way. This means she HAS to take her feeding from a bottle. She has been doing this successfully since Friday (I think) and the tube came out yesterday morning. She is 7 weeks old and weighed 4 lbs 7 oz. last night. I can't wait to take more pictures of her WHOLE face! :)

Praying and Growing

Addison is saying her prayers. The nurses said she had had her hands clasped like this througout the night and they said she was praying for her Mommy and Daddy to come visit again. What I noticed in looking at this picture was that this little girl is growing into her pacifier.

(a few days old)

The green pacifier above is actually smaller than the orange one.

(4 weeks old)

She did all but one of her feedings from a bottle in the past 24 hours. I am hoping the ng tube will be coming out soon! She hasn't had any more brady's except while eating which is "normal" in the preemie world. Hoping she will be home by mid next week.

I added this one because I just love the way she is holding her hands. I really cannot wait until the tape is off of her face and I can see all of the cuteness.

Stretchhhhh!

Ahhhhh.....

Addison is getting comfy because, unfortunately, she just bought herself 5 more days in the NICU. She is doing well and is taking huge strides with her feeding. They have advanced her to trying every feeding from a bottle. She did however have a brady (drop in heart rate) this morning which means an automatic 5 more days there. I am pretty sure it would have been that long anyways but initially I was a little bummed. She really is doing well and is as cute as can be. She weighs 4 lbs 3 oz. and continues to gain weight even though they have stopped spiking my milk with extra calories. She really should be home soon. (This is me convincing myself that it WILL actually happen.)

She's doing great

People ask "How's Addison?" and I reply "She is doing great. She just needs to take all of her bottles and she's outta there!"

This is the truth. She is, in fact, doing really well and for that we are so thankful, but she is not home and I miss her a little more each day.

The older and more alert she gets the harder it is to say goodbye to her promising that Daddy will be back later and that I will see her again tomorrow.

Ugh. I'm tired of it.

I am thankful that it is a dreary day and therefore good for napping because that is where I am headed.

We continue to pray for bottle success because we are 44 days into the NICU portion of this journey and almost 4 months into this entire ordeal and we are drained.

I mentioned to Addison that if she comes home Mommy can hold her way more often and she gets to sleep in a beautiful, custom made for her, nursery. I am hoping this is the motivation that she needed. :)

6 weeks old

Addison was 6 weeks old yesterday and she weighs 4 lbs. 2 oz. She has turned a corner as of Friday and is taking her bottles better. She still has a way to go but Jared and I are hopeful that she may be home by the weekend.

The boys visited her on Saturday and I am surprised by how much they have warmed up to her, especially Eli. Alex is our lovey boy and he generously gives out hugs and kisses but Eli is a little more reserved. He, however is very generous with Addison. Last night he told me that she needs to come home and she needs that bandaid off of her "mouf". He also said that she needed some chocolate rabbit, Eli's first true love, which, is actually milk with Nesquick in it. :)

We continue to get things in place for her homecoming and pray that her feedings continue to go well.

Change is good, right?

A lot of changes have been happening for our Addie girl. She changed pods, sleeping arrangements and her bottle feedings all in the last few days. She isn't sure if she likes all this change and has been telling us by being REALLY lazy about her bottle feedings. This of course worries Mom and I have spent the past few days feeling pretty anxious. I try to remind myself who is in control (God..not Addie) and that Addison will do what she needs to do when it is right.

As for the changes she has graduated from an isolette to a "crib". I mentioned a while ago that she would be graduating however they waited until this past Tuesday to take her out of the isolette. They didn't see the need to take her out until she got closer to leaving. Preemies burn calories when moving to a crib and dealing with the change and that is not something you want a 2 lb (now 3 lb. 3 oz.) baby to do. We agreed with them and didn't want to rush the process.

Here are her new digs. Please pray that she will take all her feeds from a bottle soon because we miss her when she is not in our arms but knowing she still needs to be there and that she is in good hands is also a great comfort that we are thankful for.

Addie in her big girl crib.

Addie in her isolette (before she graduated to a crib) with a little NICU lesson. :)

4 weeks old

Update: Jared just got home and said that Addison is now going to be taking every other feed from a bottle and that she gained another ounce which makes her 2lbs 15 oz. Tomorrow night she may tip the scales @ 3 lbs! So excited!!!!!

Addison has been outside the womb for 4 entire weeks now and she continues to kick NICU butt! :) She is gaining about an ounce a day and took 4 bottles today! YAY! We visited her with the boys and they are more interested in her which is really sweet. Eli just kept saying "awww, she's so cute!" and Alex remarked on her little eyes and hands. I think they will like having her home and so far they are super gentle around her but that could be because Jared and I are hovering very closely.

The big news of the day on the homefront is that they boys are back in the same room. We aren't getting many (or any) bites on selling our home so we bit the bullet and put them back together. Naptime was a bust but so far tonight it is quiet. It is kind of weird because they just seem so grown up now. I just let them have their lamp on for 10 minutes so that they could "read" and when I went back in they were actually just laying there looking at books. Weird?!?

Back to the NICU world: Addison has a head ultrasound tomorrow and we are hoping that there are still no bleeds or cause for concern. This is a standard test done at 7 and 28 days. The Nurse Practicioner thought Addie could be headed home in a couple of weeks if she keeps gaining and takes her bottles well. We are thrilled and praying for her continued NICU success.

A Good Day

It is only 9 a.m. but I am going to declare this a good day or should I say a "well" day. I just spoke with Addison's nurse and she had a great night and took her full 25 cc bottle "well". They NEVER say "well". It is always "poor" to "fair". As a parent it is a bummer to hear anything but "YOUR CHILD IS AMAZING!" and I already hate "fair to poor". :) Silly, I know. Anyways, little miss thing has been taking a full bottle "well" for Mommy for weeks but she has been refusing to do that for the nurses other than periodically. I've been a bit discouraged about it that past few days and wishing that I could be there for more feedings.

Addie's "performance" depends on whether or not she takes the full feeding from a bottle without them having to gavage part of it. It also depends on how well she does with her a's and b's and breathing. This is one time in her life I DON'T want her to get a's and b's because that stands for apneas and bradys. It also depends on her taking it within 30 minutes. If it takes her much more time than that it wears her out too much.

I credit Addie's bottle success for me to my stubborness. I am determined to keep her awake until she swallows every last bit. Jared and family remind me that it has a lot to do with the fact that I am her Mommy and I love that perspective also. I love being this girl's Mommy. She has definitely stolen my heart. This is why I want her home and in order to get here she has to take all 8 feedings from a bottle. We are still working on doing 3 "well". I know she will do it when she is physically ready but the sooner the better.

On a side note: she is 2 lbs 12 ounces and her little cheeks are filling out nicely.

As far as the rest of this "good day", it is supposed to be 78 and sunny AND Jared doesn't have to work late. Sounds like a perfect forecast to me.

A Visit With My Girl

I had such a nice visit with my Addie girl today. It is always a nice visit actually. It was hard to leave her. I miss her and want her home although I know she is better off there for now. Little miss weighs a whopping 2 lbs. 8 oz. now. She is taking 24 cc's and as of this morning is maintaining her body temperature without assitance from the isolette. She should be in a "crib" tomorrow if her temps continue to be normal. It really feels like it is going fast and I predict that she will be home in a few weeks as long as the weight gain and feeding keep going in the direction that they are.

3 weeks old & a visit from my brothers!

Yesterday, Addison was 3 weeks old and it was the 2nd time that she got a visit from her big brothers. Jared and I were brave this time and had her out of her isolette. It was funny because I was sitting there with her in my lap when Jared came in with the boys. Eli kept looking in her isolette and couldn't find her. He finally realized that I was holding her and they both wanted to touch her. They used one finger and touched her head. We then let them kiss her head. They asked to hold her but I wasn't having it. I am not that brave yet.

Such sweet moments mixed in to this time of our lives. :)

Bottle Feeding

Addison is doing really well with her feeding which, for this little one is what it is ALL about. The boys had more issues than we could keep track of but she is there to pretty much feed and grow. Yesterday they started doing 3 bottle feeds (the rest are gavage feedings, which is why she has the tape "moustache" it helps hold the tube in place) and today they are going for 4. She will need to do all 8 feedings from a bottle before coming home. I can't believe how fast this is all moving. She is, however, still only about 2lbs. 5 oz. so we have some more time because the Dr. that I spoke with today said they like them to be closer to 4 lbs before discharge. She is taking 20 cc's and still has not had a distended tummy again which is wonderful.

This picture is of the first time Jared fed her. I am so proud of him. He's such a great Daddy. AND without going into great detail he has been a wonderful husband. I had some incision issues (from the C-section) and the Doctor showed Jared how to take care of the wound. Yikes, poor guy! Oh the joys and realities of married life.

Mommy's turn!

Last night Jared came home from work exhausted. His usual routine is he heads to work in the morning and once he gets home we quickly grab dinner, play with the boys, put them to bed and he heads up to the hospital and stays for a few hours. It makes for a REALLY long day. I am always a little bummed at night when he heads to the hospital because I am really missing Addison by then and I miss just hanging out at home with my husband BUT last night I got to go up there again and I was SO excited.

The below picture is of her weigh-in. Every night they take her out of her isolette and weigh her and then they change her bedding. Last night she was wide awake and alert so I snagged some great pictures. Unfortunately after this the nurse noticed that Addie has kicked her way out of her IV and needed a new one. I am not squeamish about needles or my kids being stuck with them. I am a NICU mom and shots/needles are nothing compared to vents and desats. I stood there patiently waiting for my turn to hold my girl. I was calm during the first 2 or 3 IV attempts but on about the 4gth attempt, when they tried the vein in her head and that didn't' work either I was done. I told them I needed a break and went and had a breakDOWN. I prayed and prayed that they would get the IV in and when I returned they had been successful. My baby however was exhausted. It was pitiful. She sobbed during the first few attempts and then just laid there. I think that is what got to me the most. She had no energy left to even cry.

The nurse suggested that she stay in her isolette for her feeding since she was so exhausted so I "held" her again with my arms through the holes in her isolette cradling her head in one hand and her feet in the other. As horrible of a night as it was I was still thankful that I was there for her as much as I could be. I am looking forward to seeing her again today and praying that I get to hold her for a while.

Here she is being weighed. She weighed in at 940 grams which is almost back to her birth weight!

She was SO awake and alert.

Big news!

I fed Addison a bottle! Her nurse tried yesterday and she took the whole thing. Today I asked the nurse whether she would be doing a gavage feeding or from a bottle and she said "we could try a bottle again if you'd like" and then she said "are you ready?" To which I replied "No, but I know I need to be." I had flashbacks to feeding the boys for the first time and due to their breathing issues it involved a LOT of desats, choking and spitting up. I remember the first time I fed Alex I just wanted to quit and go cry in a corner. It was traumatic and nothing like what a child's first feeding should be. I braced myself for this experience again and Addison decided she would take it easy on me. I am telling you we women stick together from the womb. :) She also has not had one big nasty diaper for me however she gives Jared quite a mess to clean up on a regular basis.

She took the full 9 cc's which is her new feeding amount since her belly was distended. She didn't choke or desat or spit it back at me! It was a truly a beautiful experience. It tired her out completely though and she had to be put right back in her isolette. I was bummed not to be able to hold her longer but I knew she needed the rest. I "held" her in the way any preemie parent is used to doing. I had my hands in her isolette one on her head and one on her little butt. I would love to show you pictures of the feeding but I completely forgot to have the nurse take one. I will try tomorrow. I am hoping we will move up to 2 bottle feedings a day so that Jared can give her one at night when he visits. As I fed her it all kind of came back to me except the burping part. I had to call a nurse over and have her remind me how to hold a 2 lb. baby and burp her. I have burped the boys a million times but something about a "fragile" preemie makes you question pounding on their back for a burp. I did fine after a brief reminder and she burped like a good girl. Mission Accomplished!

It is getting hard to just see her once a day but we want the boys to have a somewhat normal life at home too and that is a sacrifice Jared and I are both making. I hope to see her more this weekend and I think Nani and Papa will come so that we can both go together to see her a couple of times. I miss her the moment I hit the elevator each day and from that moment on I want to go right back to the NICU but when I am there I am thinking of the boys and what they are doing. I hope this goes by quickly so that we aren't quite as torn but in the mean time I am SO thankful that she is doing so well again and that is what I will try and focus on.

Party of Five, Please!

I cannot tell you how nice it was to have my entire family all in the same room yesterday. Jared and I have been looking forward to this day since we first heard that it was a possibility shortly after Addison was born. Well, I was kind of in a drug induced state and thought I dreamt it but Jared assured me that it was true that the boys would be allowed to see Addison. It is only on weekends during two specific time slots for 15 minute visits. We were thrilled!



We got the boys up from nap and put on their "I'm a Big Brother" shirts and rushed them up to the hospital. We were so excited that we forgot to even give them a drink or snack. Poor kids! Jared went in and "warned" the nurse that we were there and I attempted to wash them up. Neither of them would put their hands in the water however because it is a loud scrub sink and it scared them both. This definitely made things interesting but we headed into the NICU video camera in hand to go see Addison.



I think the most precious moment was when I asked Eli if he wanted to sing her a song and my son who normally answers everything with a "NO" before he even considers it started singing "twinkle, twinkle, little star". Somehow this currently hormonally imbalanced :) mama managed to keep it together but even now it brings tears to my eyes. Alex was not to be outdone and sang to her also. He of course chose "Into my heart, Lord Jesus" which continues to be his favorite. They told her they loved her and talked about her tiny feet. They brought her stuffed animals and books. We told them that they lived there also just like Addison. Eli was quick to say "I not stay". I think he was a bit concerned that we were dropping him off or something. We introduced them to the nurses that cared for them. The nurses "oohed and ahhed" over the boys and it was just a beautiful day for us.

So thankful!

Just got back from visiting Addison and her blood results were negative. Her abdomen x-ray showed that she was still a bit distended but it had improved. I cannot tell you how thankful we are that she is doing better. Today was also her head ultra sound which is performed on all preemies approximately 7 days after birth and it screens for brain hemmorages and other abnormalities. Addison's was absolutely clear. She did not have any bleeds at all. Again we are in awe of God as he continues to protect our baby.

They started feeds again today at 10 am but they are about 1/2 the amount that she was previously recieving. I called to see if she digested that feeding well and she did. Our nurse said that she was so awake at her 1 o'clock feeding that she bottle fed her for the first time and Miss Addison took all of her feeding from a bottle. You've got to be kidding me. The child takes us from pure hell last night to drinking from a bottle for the first time today. Isn't that life, though? I am thankful that we have God to cling to during both the good and the bad because I know I couldn't have made it through last night without Him.

I wasn't able to hold her today because they wanted all of her energy to go into her feeding but I did take her temperature and change her diaper. I am praying that Jared will be able to hold her tonight when he visits. I will head back tomorrow to see my girl and hopefully she doesn't have anymore tricks up her sleeve. Well, not any bad ones anyways. She can surprise me with a good feed and weight gain any time she wants!

I am so emotionally and physically exhausted after last night that I am off to nap while the boys do. Pray for Jared who went back to work today. I know that he will feel torn between all of these different responsibilities (NICU life, work life and home life). Good "night"!

Rough Night for Addison

Update @ 12:00am : Jared just spoke with Dr.'s they are not overly concerned but will keep a close eye on her tonight and order more x-rays in the a.m. If they were nervous about it they would have done more tests tonight. Praise God. This is one step in the right direction. Jared is coming home. It will be a rough night and we covet each and every prayer! Thank you! I just read Ephesians 3:20 "God is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope". I am asking and hoping for BIG things tonight and for Addison's recovery! Please join me! Thank you!

Original post:
We would appreciate your prayer. The NICU called us tonight after noticing that Addison's belly was distended. They are concerned that it could be an infection. They ran bloodwork that came back negative which is good but they are still concerned. She is having apneas and bradycardias which is not like her at all. The nurse said she seems very uncomfortable. The x-ray of her abdomen shows a lot of gas which could be the primary cause but they have discontinue feedings for now and she is back on the IV which she was just taken off this morning. They will test her blood again and do another x-ray in the morning if everything goes well through the night. Jared is there now and we are scared for our little girl. We trust that God is in this but we are shaken as this is our first big setback.

One Week Old

I didn't realize that it has been 3 days since I last posted. It has been kind of emotional around here. I think there was this state of euphoria following her birth and my homecoming that kept us from realizing the enormity of the situation. The reality is she is doing quite well however we are leaving our daughter at the hospital to be cared from when we long to have her in our arms. This reality kind of hit me like a MAC truck the last couple of days. Thankfully we have our visits with her and our boys at home lovin' on us and each other which is making it all more bearable. God is definitely sustaining us.

OK back to Miss Addison and her progress. First of all, Happy One Week Birthday to our sweet girl!!!! She is up to 12 cc's a feeding! So far she has had little residuals (Residuals are food remaining in her belly that was not properly digested. This is checked before each feeding and will tell them how the previous feeding went.) She has not had a big loss in days and last night she was 915 grams (just over 2 lbs). We thought she would have to be 5lbs to come home but apparently this is no longer a policy and hasn't been for quite some time. We have been told by several nurses that she will probably be smaller and will require a car bed (an infant "seat" for babies under 5 lbs). I won't even tell you how nervous the combination of twin 3 year old boys and a 3 or 4 lb baby makes me but I will welcome the challenge! :)

Yesterday I had the best day playing in the backyard with the boys. I laughed so hard and am surprised I didn't hurt my incision. We also visited the NICU with them and I plan to post about that with pictures but Jared is currently sleeping where my camera cord is so I will have to wait. I will however say that it is a sweet memory that I will not soon forget AND they managed not to push any buttons that would harm their sister. Hallelujah! Jared and I also shopped for our girl last night and got her some preemie outfits because they have started to put clothes on her. I will try and add pics of that too.

Thanks so much for all of the sweet comments and prayers. Each one of them encourage us on this journey.

The Latest NICU Fashions

Addie and the NICU girls are at the cutting edge of fashion.

Here's Addison wearing her Daddy around her little finger. I expect this "style" to be timeless and last for years. She is also wearing her pink hat, despite it being July. She is fearless in her fashion choices. Am I right, ladies?

Another look, this newcomer to the fashion world, is sporting (and this is Mommy's favorite) is her pink hair bow. Isn't she precious?

Jared and I went during the boys nap today and visited with Addison. She continues to breathe on her own and had a huge weight gain last night. She is just under 2 lbs again so thanks for the prayers. She is up to 9 cc's for her feeds now which is great after being lowered to 3 because she wasn't digesting 6 well. She is having some bradycardias (lowering of the heart rate) which is a typical preemie thing but she has been spoiling us so much with no monitor noises that this kind of freaks us out. The nurses reminded us that this is typical and we are trying to rest in the fact that she is truly doing well.

Jared is at the NICU now and I am home (did I mention that?) trying to rest and recover from the c-section. It is so amazing to be home and with Jared, Alex and Eli. I miss my Addie girl but she is in good hands and we cannot wait to have her here making our family of 5 complete. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. We miss our tiniest new addition quite a bit when we are not with her so we hope she gets big soon and stays "healthy".