I fed Addison a bottle! Her nurse tried yesterday and she took the whole thing. Today I asked the nurse whether she would be doing a gavage feeding or from a bottle and she said "we could try a bottle again if you'd like" and then she said "are you ready?" To which I replied "No, but I know I need to be." I had flashbacks to feeding the boys for the first time and due to their breathing issues it involved a LOT of desats, choking and spitting up. I remember the first time I fed Alex I just wanted to quit and go cry in a corner. It was traumatic and nothing like what a child's first feeding should be. I braced myself for this experience again and Addison decided she would take it easy on me. I am telling you we women stick together from the womb. :) She also has not had one big nasty diaper for me however she gives Jared quite a mess to clean up on a regular basis.
She took the full 9 cc's which is her new feeding amount since her belly was distended. She didn't choke or desat or spit it back at me! It was a truly a beautiful experience. It tired her out completely though and she had to be put right back in her isolette. I was bummed not to be able to hold her longer but I knew she needed the rest. I "held" her in the way any preemie parent is used to doing. I had my hands in her isolette one on her head and one on her little butt. I would love to show you pictures of the feeding but I completely forgot to have the nurse take one. I will try tomorrow. I am hoping we will move up to 2 bottle feedings a day so that Jared can give her one at night when he visits. As I fed her it all kind of came back to me except the burping part. I had to call a nurse over and have her remind me how to hold a 2 lb. baby and burp her. I have burped the boys a million times but something about a "fragile" preemie makes you question pounding on their back for a burp. I did fine after a brief reminder and she burped like a good girl. Mission Accomplished!
It is getting hard to just see her once a day but we want the boys to have a somewhat normal life at home too and that is a sacrifice Jared and I are both making. I hope to see her more this weekend and I think Nani and Papa will come so that we can both go together to see her a couple of times. I miss her the moment I hit the elevator each day and from that moment on I want to go right back to the NICU but when I am there I am thinking of the boys and what they are doing. I hope this goes by quickly so that we aren't quite as torn but in the mean time I am SO thankful that she is doing so well again and that is what I will try and focus on.