Flashback Friday

Alex and Eli Halloween 2007 (6 months old)

Addie (3 1/2 months old) Ryan/My sweet nephew (2 weeks old)

Due to the fact that we got rid of most of the boys stuff and the fact that we now have a girl, there are few things that they passed down to Addie. That made this even more fun. I loved seeing these two new babies on their 1st Halloween in the same thing the boys wore for their's.

The Year In Pictures 2009

Happy New Year!

Happy Friday

Random thoughts:

• Eli and Alex are watching Word World. I attempted to shut off the TV and Eli cried so I caved. I am pretty sure that makes me a pushover but he woke up sick again this morning and I am not up for the fight. I am hoping he feels better soon b/c I can only handle SO much Barney in a 24 hour time span hence the Word World video from the library.


• I joined Facebook last night and I think I am the only person in the world who doesn't like it. I woke up to a bazillion e-mails and I feel bad if I don't want to be "friends" with people. Am I the only one who feels this way???


• I hate to admit it but I am bummed that I may miss church and a BBQ with friends due to Eli being sick. Poor boy!


• Seriously, what do I do about Facebook?


• I like my safe little blog world, what can I say?


• I did get in touch with some old friends which is cool.


• My 8 year old niece "texted" my sister this week. Poor Chad and Missy their heads are spinning. Is it bad that I find it kind of funny?? (Don't kill me Miss)


• I picked up "Twilight" at the library to see what all the fuss is about. Jared's student's LOVE the books so I though we would check out the movie.


• I also picked up 5 other books. Yeah, I put a bunch on hold thinking they would come sporadically throughout the summer which was a good plan BUT they all came in this week. I cannot possibly read this many plus the ones I had before I hit the library in time to check them back in in 3 weeks.


• I'm thinking about doing a MckLinky on my Simply Saturday post. Would anyone want to join in tomorrow?

Well that's about it for my randomness today. Here is and old pic in honor of Flashback Friday.

Eli (10 months old)

Alex (same) :)

Added this afternoon: Jared got to come home early today and he played on Facebook with me for a while helping me decide Facebooks role in my life ;) and his response to the whole thing was "I'd rather take a nap!" See, this is why my husband makes me laugh. What can I say we just "get" each other. Love him!

Flashback Friday

My little li-li!

Uhh, these pictures still break my heart a little. I just recently read a post by a blogger who spoke of her preemies and the guilt that mom's feels related to their children being born early. It reminded me of how I felt when I would go to the NICU and watch my little boy Eli as he "pulled" to get air. Pulling is when you see them pull in for a simple breath with such force that their little bellies puff out and then pull in dramatically so that their ribs are exposed. It is the most difficult thing for a mother to watch. I cried so hard the first time I sat down next to that isolette unable to touch my baby afraid that it would cause him to get too worked up which would result in his sats dropping. I felt such guilt at not being able to keep him inside me longer, not being able to help him breathe, not being able to give him the nutrients he continued to need and instead watched him receive through a tube. So impersonal, so hard, so cold, so unnatural. It still is a bit hard to talk about without getting emotional.

I now know that God had a plan for my boys and he wanted them here in this world on April 18th not in July like Daddy and I planned for and desired. Preemie mom guilt is a very real thing and one that I can honestly say that I am, thankfully, passed. I do know, however, that as you watch them sit up for the first time, you breathe a sigh of relief, first step, another sigh, their first words, breathe a sigh and on and on it goes. The guilt is relieved a little at a time but for some there are no first steps, no first words. There are disabilities and delays and speech issues, etc., etc., giving way to more guilt and in these cases I imagine it is more difficult to move passed it all. To those, I do not pretend to know what that is like but I do know that God has a plan.

Having had preemies born at 27 weeks and in the NICU for up to 3 months I appreciate A LOT of the day to day grind and for that I am thankful. I stop and watch the little things that they say and do. I tend to give Jared a run down of it all at the end of the day. It all may be mundane to other parents, I don't know I only know how it is to have my little survivors, but to us they are monuments on a daily basis of God's love and protection over our boys and ourselves. Obviously Eli got over needing that help with the oxygen but he still has his battles with his breathing as does his brother. I still get freaked out when I see him pulling and needing to take a trip to our ER, like last week at this time, BUT I take it a day at a time.

We still don't know what implications there will continue to be for our former preemies. They may have learning disabilities, breathing issues and other setbacks, that even full-term babies have, but I do know that my God, my Heavenly Father, has a plan! He will guide us and lead us on this path that he put us on and there is strength and comfort in that.

How 'bout a little....

flashback Friday. I am all for revisiting baby pictures!

I'll be honest sometimes my heart literally aches to hold these tiny babies again

and kiss these chubby little feet all over

AND THEN I see pictures like the ones below and I snap back to reality.

NOW, we get out to go out to places other than the Dr.'s office AND they can walk which means bringing less gear AND they are hysterically funny AND they are healthy little boys AND we get to have days like today playing at the park

Who am I kiddding? I still ache for those sweet babies BUT I wouldn't trade my wild little guys for anything in the world! Yes, even though after playing at the park all morning they are STILL awake TWO hours into their nap time.

"The Rules"

Yes, he was plucking grapes from the vine and eating them! :) Apparently cutting them up is SO 2008! Rules, shhmules!

I tend to be a follower of rules. I am pretty sure that is why God gave me Jared. He tends to lean in the opposite direction which balances my fear of "coloring outside of the lines". But we agree on following a lot of parenting rules. You know the mommy/daddy rules that we hear from the pediatrician or read in textbooks and magazines: quarter hot dogs to avoid choking, along with grapes, don't feed them peanut butter until their 18, (seriously, they keep backing it up and I fear my poor children may never experience a peanut butter fluff sandwich which is a true tragedy in itself), no cold medications, wash hands frequently, and on and on AND ON the list goes. That is why when I finished changing Eli's diaper and turned around I had to laugh at my son Alex. This is what he was doing:

Flashback Friday Pictures (almost 6 months old)

Flashback Friday

Alex 7 months old
Almost 23 months old
(I caved in on the "binky front". He was sick, people.)

Eli 7 months old
Almost 23 months old

I was a bit disturbed that he not only was able to reach the dresser that the overalls were on, during his nap, but also that they were pretty much around his neck. Yikes! As usual though I found is somewhat adorable and had to grab my camera.

BITTER!

Not me. The cold. I have not actually left the house since Tuesday. No, this is not a confession from a hermit it is just that it has been dangerously cold so I thought I shouldn't parade about with my children. I will admit it is tempting. I have cabin fever and am trying to "man up" and make the best of it. Currently it is -2 degrees out and in case that isn't bad enough with the wind chill it feels like -17. Woohoo! I cannot complain (too much) because I am in my warm house but to say that we are all getting a little stir crazy is an understatement. I have literally used my car once this week and that was to go to the Dr.'s. Don't worry about us though tomorrow's high is a whopping 20 degrees so we will be heading out in our shorts and t-shirts to enjoy all that warmth. :) I am thankful that the past two freezing days have been sunny. I have been waking up and opening all the blinds and curtains so I can pretend to let the sun soak us in warmth. Not much else going on here. I am looking forward to a long weekend with Jared and the boys. I am also looking forward to my Girls Night Out on Monday. I'll leave you with a flashback Friday picture from a sunny day to warm all of us up. I hope it works! :)

These were the biggest bubbles EVER. This one pictured was actually one of the smaller ones. We had a lot of fun in Nana and Papa's yard. The boys were 14 months old here.

Ramblings of a Toddler Mommy

On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it when you sit down to blog and have NO idea what it was you were going to blog about? Alex kind of through me for a loop this morning and my head is still a bit foggy. We had a great morning running errands. We did the recycling, grocery store for returns and purchases and returned bottles. I was feeling quite accomplished as I arrived home and settled Eli into his booster chair for lunch. One of my ongoing lessons about toddlers, however, is their complete and utter unpredictability. I picked Alex up to put into his booster seat and he was holding a book. I said "lets put the book down so we can eat lunch". BIG mistake, HUGE! He. completely. lost. it!! I mean he refused to eat and screamed loud enough to hurt my ear drums throughout most of lunch. At this point it becomes difficult b/c I am thinking "what is the big deal give him the book and he eats lunch and stops driving Eli and I crazy". It is a win-win...right? Well, yeah except for the fact that I would be giving into my toddlers demands which begins a slippery slope that I have no desire to be on much less careening down. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to be consistent with the boys and I didn't really want to blow it mid-January. So once I changed Alex he laid in bed and promptly fell asleep. Apparently he was pretty tired which brought out his horns. I should mention at this point that I did remember what I planned to blog and it had NOTHING to do with this story. :)

My "plan" was to blog pictures of the boys their first time in their high chairs and their last. Look how big you've grown boys! The bottom picture was just because I couldn't resist. They are six months old here.

We Got It!

The snow came and we are enjoying Daddy being home. Eli already gave Jared a decent arm work out this morning. He wanted to be thrown up in the air over and over and over and Alex listened to him read stories which is always his favorite after he has had his fill of being thrown around. I am off to clean so that I can enjoy the weekend without thinking about how dirty my kitchen floor is. :)


In honor of Flashback Friday here are some pics from last year at this time. Where did all that chubbiness go??