Saturday, May 7, 2011

Being a Mom

This morning as I ironed our clothes for church tomorrow. I remembered when I ironed the boy's outfits for baby dedication 3 years ago. My first Mother's Day was a bit rough. The boys were both a few weeks old and in the NICU. The 2nd year I was so thrilled to have them home with us. And now this year I prepare yet another child's clothes for the dedication. A GIRL, no less. Crazy.
It really got me thinking about "officially" dedicating Addie tomorrow. With the boys I was VERY anxious. I had just come through hell with them. I was happy they were alive and I wasn't sure I wanted to lose "control" by giving them over. It is laughable, really. We are NEVER in control, even though, as Mommies, we all wish we could be.

With Addie it is much different. It is truly just a public admission of what was decided previously. Not to lessen the meaning of it or what it means to dedicate your child publicly but because I gave Addie to God in the womb. I've NEVER felt like I had control over this one. She is His, as are the boys.

In my four years being a Mom I have learned so much and yet I know there are volumes of knowledge ahead of me.

I took a walk with the kids while Jared was at work. During the course of the bike ride Eli's peddle fell off his bike. I fixed it despite struggling a bit and felt a bit triumphant. We proceeded and Alex had to stop and chat with each neighbor we passed. "Are they our neighbors, Mama?" "Yes, Alex, now how 'bout we let them enjoy the day." He charmed many a neighbor let me tell you.

On the way back as I yelled "Alex, stop at the end of the street.", several times. He didn't. I gave him the look and assured myself that he'd gotten the message. Until, that is, he looked at me and said "I am coming back over". He proceeded to cross the street AGAIN.

We entered the house and they were thirsty I poured the milk in their glasses and before I could hand them to them Eli grabbed his and spilled it onto the floor and it splashed and hit the clean, ironed clothes that I had spent time ironing this morning.

This IS motherhood. I was walking and enjoying the sunshine and thinking it was such a charmed life I led. Within an hour I was snapping at the kids and my husband feeling overwhelmed. It has it's ups and downs but I admit to loving it.


to Alex, Eli and Addison, I love each of your MESSY little FACES!

Picnik collage

Thanks for putting up with my flaws as I navigate through this unknown territory that is Motherhood.

While I am talking about "putting up with my flaws"...thanks to Jared for making me a Mommy and for buying me flowers and the sweetest card, despite my crankiness.

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