Thursday, May 8, 2008

My letter to Alexander


You are ONE! I cannot believe it. I also cannot believe how precious my first born (by one minute) is. You are intense and I love that about you which is funny because it is something in myself that I don't often see as a positive but in you I can. You laugh as intensely as you cry or scream whatever the case may be. Your smile lights up a room and is in your eyes as much as on your lips. You have this belly laugh that I get to hear almost daily. You don't hold it back for the truly hysterical moments you release it with great abandon. You are so sweet the way you hold hands with your brother melts my heart. I love how you laugh when Daddy lifts you over your head. I love your deep little scary voice that you do because you like to experiment with all the cool new sounds that you're learning. I love that you LOVE kisses and when people stop kissing you you crane your little neck so that they will do it again. Your favorite thing to do right now is look out the front door and the weather has been nice enough for you to stand there and just enjoy the birds, the grass and yesterday the thunder. You were a bit confused when you first heard it but then you adjusted. I think part of why you like to stand there is because you can feel the wind on your face. You love this sensation and each time you feel it you giggle. You love your solid foods and will just open wide for anything. This is one of the few areas that you are like this. Other things you want to examine and study and give yourself time to take it all in. This is just one of the may contradictions of your personality. You were born early and we feared for your life but you are a fighter. I will never forget the first time I held you. I was scared to death and reluctant because you were hooked to a lot of machines and I felt like I could break you or hurt you somehow. I try to value your life knowing that the following is true. I can hurt you and will because I am human and we make stupid mistakes but know that I will try my best to be the best mommy to you. God picked me for you and I am SO grateful that he did. You have an amazing Daddy who God chose for you too and you love him so much and think he is so great. So please remember that when you go through that stage where you think he is being hard on you just because he can. He loves you so intensely that he has to protect you. God has called him to it. He is a faithful man and will do this so that you can grow up and be just as honorable. I love you. Thanks for helping make me who I am. Thanks for this first year. I look forward to the rest. You have brought much joy and laughter to this family!

I love you!


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