They are growing up so fast..

I feel like that is constantly on the forefront right now. It is happening so fast it is difficult to keep track of. I blog regularly and still feel like I am not able to record all the things going on in their lives. I guess that is part of living life, you live more fully than you are able to express through writing. Who knows?

Eli has even begun to do his own breathing treatments. These are a staple in our home and he has been getting them since he was an infant but now we just fill 'em up and he does the rest. He even shakes it at the end to make sure there isn't any more medicine left. It is really quite amusing. They also tell you what they want now and use words appropriately like excuse me, thank you, your welcome. Those are the nice ones but I thought I'd spare you the rest. ;)

One of the beautiful things about this age is that although they are growing so quickly and becoming big boys. They are still my babies and they still need Mama and Daddy. Tonight Eli was cah-raaaa-beeeeee (crabby). It was bad. I chose Alex to go on my grocery shopping date and Eli cried and cried for Mommy while Alex wanted to watch Madagascar with Daddy so problem solved I took the crabmeister. It was not fun but I survived and we now have food so mission accomplished. Which brings me back to my point (well not really). Eli needed his Mama tonight. We got home and he cried at the dinner table because we told him to take a bite. Bottom line: he was EXHAUSTED. I took him to his room and rocked him and sang the songs that I used to sing to him and Alex when they were infants.


I used to hold both of the boys in my arms at the same time until they were drowsy and then lay them down. I would sing church hymns that I remembered from my childhood and some newer praise and worship songs. I could never remember the traditional lullabies and when I could remember some I compared them to the hyms I'd been singing and they paled in comparison.

Tonight I remembered a particular instance when I just had Alex home and Eli was still in the NICU. I was rocking Alex and ran out of songs when the hymn "It is well with my soul" popped into my mind. You see we were still pretty nervous about Eli and his ability to breathe without oxygen. It seemed as if he may never come home and well I guess there was that chance. I remember singing the words and as scared as I felt I also felt at peace. If you are not familiar the words go as follows:

When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

The words still put a lump in my throat but I meant them. I still remember this day quite vividly. Another time the song that the Holy Spirit brought to mind was "I surrender All"

All to Jesus I surrender,

All to him I freely give,

I will ever love and trust him,

In his presence daily live,

I surrender all, I surrender all,

All to thee my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

I gave my worries to God and it was an amazing time of worship right there on my couch. Tonight after Alex finished dinner and came into the room where I was rocking Eli he got into his bed and as I sang these songs his face lit up. He enjoyed hearing Mama sing and it relaxed Eli. I love being there for my boys and look forward to the many years ahead in which I will get to continue this awesome role that I play as their Mother. More importantly I hope to instill in them that it is o.k. to "surrender all" because God truly wants what is best for them. He is their all knowing Father and that brings a lot of comfort to me. I hope it will them too. No sane person would sign up for difficulties but I do treasure these memories and the growth they brought. I think trials like those we faced with the boys are apt reminders to trust God and to hold tightly to our Father's hand.

Written 8/4/09