and suddenly everythings right. Hey, I got some new shoes on and everybody's smilin' it's so inviting." Paolo Nutini - New Shoes
I put new shoes on the boys today and it was cute to watch their reactions to having shoes on for the first time. Alex kind of did a dog chasing the tail thing in order to see them. While Eli just pondered the feeling. I thought of the above song (which is on my ipod spring playlist b/c it is just so upbeat and fun) today as I walked OUTSIDE in the sunshine with my little boys. Yes, it is finally warm enough in MI to take walks that don't involve the word mall. The boys enjoyed their walk and as I walked along the streets that we Michiganders complain about, you know the ones that are so cracked and bumpy and jiggle the whole stroller, Alex giggled away. He LOVED it. It was so cute every time we hit this part during our walk he was excited. Yes God used one of the boys (again) to teach me a lesson. Lesson being, I too need to have that attitude when I hit the rough spots.
Through the experience of having preemies I believe God has taught me to appreciate most of the moments in Jared, mine and the boys life. More recently He reminded me of James 1:1 "whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy." Ok so appreciate not only the little moments but also the difficult ones. With the huge challenges in life Jared and I would "man up" so to speak but what about daily frustrations. I know that this verse was talking about all of that. He means the 3rd blow out of the day, the feel of warm spit up hitting your newly cleaned shirt, but also the friend who is ill and battling for life, the people that you know who are losing a baby, friends struggling with infertility ALL of it. I am learning that I have the desire to control these things when I am not supposed to. What he is showing me, specifically, right now is that I cannot control the boys lives. It is in his hands. This may be hitting me b/c of Eli's upcoming surgery but it is a hard lesson. I can't go through life waiting for the other shoe to drop. This was not God's intention. If you want to be inspired I encourage you to check out this blog. It is what reminded me to not only find joy in the little things but also about the freedom that comes with giving God the control. Read the story on the left about Teagan. Their story of faith in God through their loss is amazing!