I'm back!

I finally have access to this site again. I have been unable to post for a couple of weeks and our home computer has had a virus so I couldn't even have Jared update you. Today I am 29 weeks pregnant. I am happy to say that Addison is still doing quite well. She continues to pass all of her BPP's and I still have mild pre-eclampsia which is good considering it was mild 7 weeks ago and remains relatively stable.

Our biggest issue now is the blood flow. It is still absent sometimes and that seems to be what will drive their decision towards delivery. The Doctors would all love to see me get to 34 weeks but they also remind me that it is a day to day thing. I continue to have ultrasounds that last anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours because they are looking at the blood flow so carefully and checking how much is getting to her brain and organs so this takes time. It is my daily field trip and I am actually thankful for them. On weekends they do them at my bedside and the days kind of drag by because it is not my usual routine.

The boys and Jared just left. They come at least every other day but usually more often. They seem to be adjusting fine. I know God is taking care of them and Jared so that brings comfort. I am definitely struggling more emotionally now than I am physically. Physically I feel fine. I just long to be home with my family. I feel a constant tug between wanting Addison to stay in and grow and wanting to be a Mom to my boys and a wife to Jared. Jared reminds me that I am still those things but it really doesn't feel like it when you are separated from them physically. I have been looking at the boys NICU pictures a lot and that helps me want to keep Addison growing. The boys are so healthy now that I forget from time to time what those first several weeks of their lives was like.

Thankfully I don't have a choice as to when she comes because my emotions mixed with the pregnancy hormones definitely ebb and flow. I am so glad it all rests in my Father's hands.

Hopefully the computer keeps behaving and I don't get blocked out of everything again so that I can continue to update you and tell you about life during hospital bedrest. It has been almost 3 weeks in the hospital and 7 weeks total bedrest. YIKES!