Such Creative Minds!

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Playschool didn't have THIS in mind when making this toy. Yes, that is a corn on the cob shoved in there for good measure. This is what happens when you can't find a single ball that the toy came with.

I didn't find the rest of Eli's cob when I cleaned up after dinner but I naively figured that he'd thrown it into the trash UNTIL I cleaned their rooms before bed. Surprise Mommy!!!!

Flashback Friday

My little li-li!

Uhh, these pictures still break my heart a little. I just recently read a post by a blogger who spoke of her preemies and the guilt that mom's feels related to their children being born early. It reminded me of how I felt when I would go to the NICU and watch my little boy Eli as he "pulled" to get air. Pulling is when you see them pull in for a simple breath with such force that their little bellies puff out and then pull in dramatically so that their ribs are exposed. It is the most difficult thing for a mother to watch. I cried so hard the first time I sat down next to that isolette unable to touch my baby afraid that it would cause him to get too worked up which would result in his sats dropping. I felt such guilt at not being able to keep him inside me longer, not being able to help him breathe, not being able to give him the nutrients he continued to need and instead watched him receive through a tube. So impersonal, so hard, so cold, so unnatural. It still is a bit hard to talk about without getting emotional.

I now know that God had a plan for my boys and he wanted them here in this world on April 18th not in July like Daddy and I planned for and desired. Preemie mom guilt is a very real thing and one that I can honestly say that I am, thankfully, passed. I do know, however, that as you watch them sit up for the first time, you breathe a sigh of relief, first step, another sigh, their first words, breathe a sigh and on and on it goes. The guilt is relieved a little at a time but for some there are no first steps, no first words. There are disabilities and delays and speech issues, etc., etc., giving way to more guilt and in these cases I imagine it is more difficult to move passed it all. To those, I do not pretend to know what that is like but I do know that God has a plan.

Having had preemies born at 27 weeks and in the NICU for up to 3 months I appreciate A LOT of the day to day grind and for that I am thankful. I stop and watch the little things that they say and do. I tend to give Jared a run down of it all at the end of the day. It all may be mundane to other parents, I don't know I only know how it is to have my little survivors, but to us they are monuments on a daily basis of God's love and protection over our boys and ourselves. Obviously Eli got over needing that help with the oxygen but he still has his battles with his breathing as does his brother. I still get freaked out when I see him pulling and needing to take a trip to our ER, like last week at this time, BUT I take it a day at a time.

We still don't know what implications there will continue to be for our former preemies. They may have learning disabilities, breathing issues and other setbacks, that even full-term babies have, but I do know that my God, my Heavenly Father, has a plan! He will guide us and lead us on this path that he put us on and there is strength and comfort in that.

Thanksgiving Thursday

I thought I would join in on Thanksgiving Thursday over at "What a Trip". Since it is my first time doing this I will keep it simple as that is my motto nowadays.

My boys: Jared, Alex and Eli! Their love amazes me all.the.time! Unfortunately, I know that not everyone has this kind of joy and I am grateful for such a full life with these 3.

Addendum to Daily Schedule: Details to follow!

After giving it much though AND consulting Thomas the Train, Alexander (employee with the company for 25 months) has changed the CEO's Daily Schedule!

Nap is OUT! 24 Hour Access to Barney Video's and Animal Crackers: IN!

We will continue to keep you posted on the upcoming changes as Alex revamps Mommy's schedule for the day!

Pardon my dust!

Edited to add: My eyes are crossing but this is the (almost) completed look! Thanks again ANGIE! Yes we are now on a first name basis b/c I e-mailed her all.day.long! She rocks!

I found a new blog design that I loved based on it's simplicity and now I am turning my blog into a complicated mess in order to strive for the same "simple" look!

Why oh why, do I do this to myself????

BTW if you are curious and want to check out the blog it is John Deere Mom. She is being so generous and giving me some "how-to's". Thanks AGAIN!

Simply Saturday

Tonight we have experienced what some may call a "set back". I choose to call it a nightmare personally! The boys have spent the last hour climbing in bed, out of bed, onto the train table in their room, opening the shades, playing with their farm, etc., etc., etc., Jared wasn't home so I was left to deal with the insanity.

I went in for the millionth time to find both of them doing this:

and saying "Luke! I am your father" O.k., kidding about that part but they were yelling into the fan and giggling. I didn't get a picture of both of them doing it because Eli was smart enough to dive towards a bed when I went to get the camera.



I am convinced that I survive these stressful moments because there are moments like these:

Eli sleeping with his butt straight up in the air. Seriously, how is that comfortable?

Both of them giggling on the porch on a bright, yet cool Spring day.

Or today when Alex was mowing the "grass" (carpet) completely naked, following his bath!

and last but not least when I just went into the boy's room to tell them goodnight and I kissed Eli and said "I love you and you need to stay in bed and listen to Mommy and Daddy" to which he replied "o.k. gimmee five" I did and he said "gimmee knuckles" I pounded his little fists like he asked and then I kissed his sweet, stubborn, defiant, little, two year old, face and thanked God for these simple moments that make all the insanity worth it.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Raiding the refrigerator after bath time. These boys are OBSESSED with YoBaby Yogurt.

Additions to the Alex and Eli Dictionary

"bat yard"~ backyard
This is mentioned each and every time we pull into the driveway. They LOVE their "bat yard" and would live out there if I didn't make them come inside every once in a while.

"I cubba you"

They want you to put their covers on them for nap or bed time. I always say lay down and I'll cover you and I guess that is where the phrase was born.

"hop"~help

Usually repeated over and over until you give them a little bit of assistance.

Alex has started addressing me when he speaks and it melts. my. heart. Example: I love you, Mommy. Thank You, Mommy. I sorry, Mommy.

Eli is constantly curious about the moon's location in the middle of the day. "Where's moon? Where's moon?" Me: It's on the other side of the world right now. "Where's moon?" Me: you can't see it right now honey. "Where's moon? where's moon?" Me: The moon is taking a nap! Would you like to take a nap???

It also amazes me how they look out for one another. I have heard them several times lately ask each other: "You, O.k.?"

Eli also was looking for Alex in the back yard and said "LEX, where are you?" This is a good thing since he has been calling him Li-Li for quite a while now. As I mentioned before that is Eli's nickname and Eli KNOWS Alex's name he just chooses to call Alex by his own nickname.

So I am keeping track of all these things for my boys to see someday. They are probably not exciting for the average reader but this blog is really all about them :) Love you guys!

That's Mommy to you!